Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
