I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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