I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
