Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
