At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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