I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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