Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
