I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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