i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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