I'm gonna have a badass scar
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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