totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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