do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
