ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
