Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
