just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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