dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
