i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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