M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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