Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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