I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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