as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You need Xanax blowdarts
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
