a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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