I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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