The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
