It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize