that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
