We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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