I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
