Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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