don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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