He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize