It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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