i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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