You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
