Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
