so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
