I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
