would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm just crazy horny about you
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize