Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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