i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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