I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
