i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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