it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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