I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
