I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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