I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize