Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize