I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
