I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
