I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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