she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
me + whiskey = a bad person
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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