The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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