I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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