she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
