Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
