My hand turned me down
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
