butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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