Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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