As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
