she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My vagina is officially offended.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
