Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
