Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
