So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
