Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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