You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
