as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Be still, my beating vagina.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
