I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
